|Noun||1.||insincerity – the quality of not being open or truthful; deceitful or hypocritical|
One of the terrible plights of being human is our ability for facial expression. It allows us a non verbal way to convey concepts and emotion or…hide them.
In my profession I am face to face with all sorts of people who love to talk. The level of report I have to build with people can be exhausting. I don’t have a 3 minute relationship with them, serving them coffee, these people let me into their homes and need to feel at ease for hours at a time. Believe me, when I meet them and hear about whatever Armageddon type plague they have, they are NOT at ease. It’s part of my job to diffuse them, relax them, solve the problem and then charge them for the trouble. They should feel as though I am holding up the roof as they run out of the building.
But it’s really really really really fucking hard.
I constantly have endure back handed compliments like “I don’t know how you could do your job, it’s disgusting!” or “How does your wife handle what you do?” or my personal favorite “You aren’t contaminated or anything are you?”
So when people meet me they often get a well practiced smile and witty rehearsed retort. It’s these cases that I’m glad being insincere exists. I don’t think it’s a bad thing, it has it’s purpose. I really don’t think anyone would really appreciate telling me their stupid jokes and anecdotes about their friend’s, friend’s, cousin’s friends who were attacked by 3 foot long rats and have my reaction be completely honest. I’d probably get kicked out of houses on a regular basis.
So you see, being insincere has a rather negative connotation to it. In reality it is a necessary professional tool that I have to excel at in order to do my job properly. It’s not something you can just “do” however, you have to be good at it or you just come off as a complete asshole.
First of all you need to know how to laugh. Your friends will know you well enough to know it’s fake, but if they haven’t met you just make sure you have a good one.
Next you need follow through. Faking it is a lot like golf, a good swing is only impressive when it hits the ball. Don’t let your real emotions sneak into the conversation, the results can be very awkward.
The other important thing is to make sure your face is matching what your mouth is doing. It sounds stupid, but when people are bored in a conversation they will stitch together mismatched expressions like a quilt.
So all that being said, being insincere in your personal life is a completely different matter all together. There are those that abuse the ability, we call them psychopaths. I am not one of those. I am a kind, thoughtful and warmhearted individual who is interested absolutely everything you have to say.