Perception

People ask me all the time what it’s like in a day of the life in my job.  It’s exactly like this, a little less nuclear perhaps, but close enough:

The fact of the matter is, every person you talk to will tell you tales (tails?) of the biggest rat in the world.  Maybe it was the worlds largest cockroach or hoards of silverfish, or whatever you happen to be most frightened of,  like children.   What people think they saw really gets in the way of treating what they actually saw.

The descriptions I get of simple, mundane and everyday pests from people blow my mind.

Typical Fowl Rodent

Typical Fowl Rodent

People who have severe phobias often vilify the ordinary.

People who have severe phobias often vilify the ordinary.

This is called a "Whutdafuq".  Half blind, hard of hearing elderly see this a lot.

This is called a “Whutdafuq”.  The half blind, hard of hearing elderly see this a lot.

Here is the rub, I am guilty of this as well.  This is why I take photos of dead things.  That way I don’t have to have the “you should of seen the size of it man!  It was 3 feet long if it was inch!” with my colleagues.

Pack rat: You may know the human variety

Pack rat: You may know the human variety

This guy died of obesity. For real.

This guy died of obesity. For real.

Stop: Hammer time

Stop: Hammer time

Fear and adrenaline are powerful things.  I find it useful to apply this equation I developed over years of research in a legitimate and certified laboratory to help weed out the exaggerated pieces of information.  Feel free to use it in your life:

equationequal

Solution

Solution

 

That’s all today folks, I’m hungover and my friend also punched me 15 times in the gut because I asked him to last night.  15 fucking times.

 

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